Over the past several weeks I've really tried to be more patient...more relaxed... Less of the "OMG I'm so high-strung that I'm going to take my sandal off and whack it against my head now!" and more of the "Oh, I see. Thanks for that tidbit of information" *fake smile*.
I thought I was doing well until last night. I couldn't even sit through dinner at home without wondering why the heck everyone was chewing their food like they were an honorable guest at The Last Supper. Seriously, I saw more jaw action at our table than those happy California cows could provide... in a decade.
Then this morning it hit me. (Not the shoe mind you). I'm frantic over this pending contract with our home. Thoughts of shacking up in an Extended-Stay are not doing much for zen thoughts of serenity and solitude. Even if I took a yoga class and I was able to perfectly align my Chakra somehow (yeah...whatever!), I fear I'd give up on downward dog and rebel with a trip to Starbucks. And God hold me back, because a double-shot of espresso is NOT what I need right now. Unless you want demolition on that property you hope to flip. Seriously, that could be arranged.
I'm also livid over the fact that our daughter's school removed us from the waiting list and now I might have to home-school for another year. What's that you say, "you'll attract flies with honey". *You shrink shrink back and cower* Listen *grabbing you by the collar*, I've stolen Winnie the Pooh's big old honey pot and I'm running around town shouting, "Nah nah nah nah boo boo". I'm in THAT kind of mood. I know, certainly not the type of honey you're talking about. So sue me.
I think becoming a Mom makes you this way. Crazy. I was never this way before I had a kid. My blood pressure looks like one of those cheap Big Lot thermometers laying outside on a hot Nevada day. You know, the one right next to the fried egg on the black asphalt? Heck even an entire bar of Hershey's can't quell the sparks of fire surging out of the top of my head. I'm able to make Smores, but not sit cross-legged and say, "Ohm". I have a problem with that.
I think the restlessness also comes with the fact that the kiddo is in school right now and I'm bored out of my mind...waiting. Something I've never been good at. You know how business men flippantly say, "Well, if this merger isn't going to happen, it's not going to happen" *leaning back in their leather chair...waiting for the next guy's move*...? Let's just say, I like to get things done. Bing Bam Boom... You want it or you don't. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
I'm not sure about you, but I'm not into lolly-gagging and laying amongst a field of daisies. Naked or not. Deciphering depictions of bunnies and dragons in the clouds just makes me look at my watch...and I won't do it secretly either. Someone says it's the Asian woman in me. Nature vs. Nurture I suppose, because as you know I put the Asian in Caucasian. Hand me a bowl of sticky rice and perhaps I can be stalled to see a hippo floating in the sky. I'll lie for high glucose levels. After all, that's my drug of choice.
Seriously, one word, "Agggggh".
(And that wasn't a pirate. Oh wait...that would have been "Arrrgh". Nevermind.)
*update: It's gotten so bad, I had to put my running shoes on... I'm not sure if I'm running away, or just need a little more "spring action"*
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